i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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