The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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