Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
