i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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