my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
