I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
