I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
