the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize