Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
