new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
