She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't deserve a penis
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
