Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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