I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
