I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
