I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize