Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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