Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
