my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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