Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize