dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
