More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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