Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I smell like Dick and happiness
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
