Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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