WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize