I'm eating all of the evidence.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
His nipple licking is glorious
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
