Screwed.edu
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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