I think i sorta joined a cult last night
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
