you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
