Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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