Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
