i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
