I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
