Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize