Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
