Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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