I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
