arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
