This girl is more easily done than said...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
