So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize