Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
