Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
