The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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