Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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