In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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