and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
