Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
