It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
