Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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