My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
