"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
