Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
