i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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