She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
