used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
