Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
