i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
