drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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