yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
