I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
