90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
