I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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