Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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