hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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