Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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