dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
